Submitted Stories

Took me 20 years but I have pretty well have moved on from the label. This is not a war, there is nothing to fight, nothing to beat - this is yourself you are talking about.

To get to the place where you can embrace your psychology and start to work with it takes time and maturity. Eventually, you will have the skills and inner awareness to get a clarity deeper than your story that you believe and tell today. This is spiritual work, a humbling work, it is an intuitive art - it is personal to you. The Universe/Divine/Process has some life principles - you learn to work with them in a very intimate way that words really cannot describe.

My healing has been  a spiritual collage which encompasses many fine mentors, helpers along the way for the level I was at - but ultimately I had to go to within, into my own Pandora's box. Every time I venture inwards I feel like a puppy leaving the nest for the first time but I get stronger with experience and my inner forays get stronger and stronger. Yours will too.

Congratulations on your fine work. The world needs messengers. Your spirit has risen to this calling.

I have a similar diagnosis and am as well classified "disabled" because of my problems... it is so hard to allow people to see your episodes let alone video tape it for the world...

My mother saw the film too.... now here i am attempting to write an email, not something I would typically do. i really just felt i have so much in common with John.... I too am an artist and in school for photography… I’m hoping the worst of my problems are behind me -- though from what my therapist tells me the worst years medically may be what I’m coming onto... Right now I am finally finding some balances in medications.

Your story is being heard and affecting people out here. You have touched me not just as an artist but as a fellow "crazy" person. OH and by the way there definitly are plenty of girls out there who like big guys, I should know I’m one of them. :c)

I'm 17 teen years old and a senior in high school and currently diagnosed with schizophrenia and have been for about 2 years.  After I saw your film I decided I need to do a project for school about our illness.  I’ve been collecting tips and advice to give to a younger generation like me about how to deal with it. I’m including some of the things you do – like checking out the reality of your thoughts, or telling yourself it’s not true.  You’re so brave.  I want to let people know that it can be overcome and that it affects more people than people think.

Every group home in the US should see your film. Not only people with this illness but some doctors and counselors who don’t have a clue about the inside view.  It’s hard to meet with them when you can tell they don’t understand, and especially when they want us to do things our brains aren’t capable of when we’re very sick.

The film was incredible!  It put into words and images what it really feels like to have paranoia.  People, including my family and supervisor, don't really understand what it's like to have thoughts that aren't rational and are so hard to control.  

I love the scene where John is standing in his studio saying over and over, “it's not true."  That is so real to life for so many of us.

I would be homeless or, probably, dead without my family.  I know how much a family can contribute to recovery.  Your entire family is to be commended.  I can’t tell you how grateful I am to John -  his courage, especially, is astounding.  Not to mention his determination.

I laughed, I cried, and have a million other emotions and feelings that I'll have to figure out later.  My Mom is in her 50's and she is paranoid schizophrenic.  We are closer now than we have ever been but don't get to see each other often. I grew up with my uncle and aunt because Mom was unable to care for me and my brothers and sisters.  I've seen her very ill, and have a couple memories of her being really happy and content.

Lately she seems pretty content when we talk on the phone or visit.  I don't think she has had a great family support system.  It touched me so much to see your family rally around you and the love that radiates through you all.  My family doesn't talk about Mom's illness.  My grandpa is my Mom's rock.  Always goes to see her and takes her out even when he is sick

This film helped me to understand what my mom might have been feeling and going through – and what she probably is feeling and going through now.  I have two boys and I worry about them inheriting schizophrenia.  My husband also worries about it.  He hasn't met my Mom.  Your story has helped me realize that if that happens I can deal with it. 

You have shown that with the right resources it can be managed and quality of life improved greatly.  A person has to keep trying until they find the help that they need.  You are an incredible artist, and I am touched and thankful you had the courage to do this.  I can't even find all the words to convey how much this has impacted me.  Thank you and your family a million times.  You are a blessing, and I am honored to have had a glimpse of a part of your life.  You're in my prayers and I am rooting for you everyday.

Your movie really had a profound effect on me.  it was the most real film about mental illness i have ever seen.  i'm bipolar but with a lot of psychosis, and i just recently graduated from university as a film major.  my first psychotic break was at 19, after my freshman year.  i was lucky though, after one year, i was able to go back to school, and i'm 23 now.

you have inspired me to try writing a screenplay about my own experience.   all the films i had seen until yours have been so untrue to what it is really like to have mental illness. your movie was really special.

My son too is an artist, a very talented musician who lost the ability to remember chords when his illness began about age 16.  Not understanding his illness, his mother had him arrested and put in jail.  Two years ago I brought him to live with me.  He has been diagnosed with a schizoaffective disorder--he hears voices, has delusions and a mood disorder.

None of the medications helped my son.  He developed a swallowing disorder from one of them, so I took him off it and started him on another regimen three months ago.  He says he feels better, sleeps less, has become a gourmet, fat-free cook, but still can't play his guitar.

To the Cadigan family, I say thank-you for the courage, for the tenacity and for the love.  You all give me much hope.